So, today the Hospice nurse visited mom. She discussed with mom and dad the idea of only having a nurse visit once a week instead of twice. Mom and dad thought that was more than fine. They told me that she asked them if they believed in miracles because she felt like mom really was one.
And after yesterday's blog...I just don't know what to make of any of this. The cancer couldn't have just gone away, right? That doesn't happen. But then what did happen? What is happening? And why do I feel the need to have answers?
Maybe all the prayers worked. Because boy were a lot of people praying for mom.
But then I wonder what happened to her friend Eileen. Was it just her time and it really wasn't moms? Will I still be blogging years from now about my mom and her miraculous recovery? I would love nothing more.
On another note, I had arranged to rent the hall at mom and dad's church for her birthday. I called to talk to mom about it and she said, "Can we just not do that?" It was vintage mom. She doesn't want a party now. Even a small one. So, I have to respect her wishes. It's just classic of mom...and I guess that's a good thing in a way. But I'm kind of bummed about it. I still don't know that this won't be her last birthday and I just wanted to celebrate the fact that she was still here on THIS birthday when we didn't think she would be. But it's HER birthday and I can't force a celebration upon her...so I'm thinking maybe just a small family gathering up at mom and dad's? I guess I don't really know right now.
So, that's been today. My brain doesn't know what to think anymore. And I just have to keep reminding myself to enjoy this time and not over-think it. But my brain has never worked that way. Still learning lessons I guess...
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