I made my daily morning call to mom and dad this morning and talked to mom for a while. Aunt Judy is coming over today and I'm so happy that she and mom are actually going to be able to enjoy some time together because mom is doing so much better. Mom and dad have also scheduled dinner out on Friday night with their friends Jim and Nancy. The 4 of them have done dinner once a week for years, but haven't been to dinner in some time since mom got sick. Jim has cancer as well and is fighting it with all he has, but has been struggling as well. I'm just so happy that they're doing dinner again. That's a good sign. Mom and dad also went to the casino yesterday and BOTH gambled this time which is another great sign. In classic dad fashion, he told me that mom won $7.00 and he lost .21 cents. An accountant stays an accountant forever! I don't know that anyone else knows exactly how much money they lose to the penny! LOL!
Today is the day that someone from the church brings mom and dad communion and it's just nice to know that someone is always checking on them. Of course Aunt Judy will be there today too. And right now, I think they're both doing so well. Nonetheless, I still find myself getting tense before I call them in the morning and evening. I find myself wondering if this will be the call when dad says mom isn't feeling so well. I'm trying...really, really trying...to live in this moment...in this time where mom feels good. But, always, in the back of my head...I know that things could change at any minute. And the way my brain works...it's hard for me not to think about those things.
But believe me, I am certainly so grateful every time I hear dad say that mom is doing well or have mom tell me that herself. She and I talked about the fact that she and dad are really getting out more and she told me that they both talked about it and decided that they couldn't just sit and stare at each other anymore. I told mom that there are lots of people that live longer than their initial diagnosis. And that getting out and living life might just be the positive thing she needs. And even if the diagnosis holds true...she will have lived the time she had left instead of just waiting to die.
So, this is definitely a small blessing right now. I have noticed that I don't find myself so exhausted every day. I feel like I'm able to relax a little more than before. I feel like maybe I'm actually sleeping better at night and waking more refreshed. That's all good and important for my well-being too.
We keep moving forward. That's all we can do. And I remain grateful for every positive day we are given!
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