Day 38: Down Time

Wow...it's amazing what a difference a little down time can make to help a body rejuvenate!

I had a consult appt this morning at 11am. I woke up tired and groggy just like every day. Even though it was later than usual this morning. Olly gave me a nice back rub to ease up some of the tension in my shoulders and back muscles. That helped a lot!

The consult was great and I was hired by the couple I met with. That books me up through July.

Then Olly and I spent the rest of the afternoon running some errands that were long overdue. We went to Home Depot and picked up a storage closet for the boys' room to help get Bionicles and Legos off their floor. We stopped at the grocery store to stock up on food for the week. We swung by Target looking for heated booties for my mom's cold feet - no luck there...but I did pick up a new t-shirt that I needed for births. And then we went out to lunch at my favorite pizza place that we haven't been to in a very long time. We played a game of pool, had pizza and I even splurged on a root beer instead of my normal water. Happy early birthday to me. ;-) Then we stopped in next door to a coffee shop that I've always wanted to try. It was well worth it! Then a quick stop at the mall to return some clothes and back home. We caught up on Grey's Anatomy and then the boys came home and my life felt semi-normal again for the first time in a long time.

I don't feel the exhaustion I have felt for the past several weeks. I almost feel normal. Of course, talking to dad tonight and getting the reminder that mom is still declining was hard as usual. But my eyes aren't burning. I don't feel like I'm going to drop at any minute. This time last week I was in my mom's hospital room trying to get her oriented to being on a new floor. I didn't drive home until after Midnight. Tonight I'll get to bed at a normal hour. I hope to get up and work out tomorrow for the first time in a week as well.

Of course, I'm waiting to see when mom is going to get her stomach drained again this week. It sounds like it needs to be soon. If it's tomorrow, I'll go up tomorrow, but if it's Tuesday I'll go up then. I intend to spend my birthday up there on Thursday as well. Of course, I know that everything can change in a blink of an eye and I'm keeping my mind open to that as well. I still have two clients due and that will change things quickly too.

But for this particular moment, I almost feel like myself. That doesn't mean I haven't had a couple of moments of tears today. But that's almost part of normal for me these days. I feel more like myself and more connected to the world than I have in well over a week. And that feels good. It's good to know that these times will happen in between the stress and pain that is still continuing. Knowing I can sometimes find this place again will be good for me.

I feel all the good thoughts and prayers that are coming my way. And they are helping. Especially today. So, thank you to all of you who are out there thinking and praying for me and my family. I appreciate it so very much and love you all!

On to another week...on to day 38...on to another hour...another minute...another moment...that's all I can really ask for right now. For this moment, I feel like I can do anything again. That feels good. Maybe when I'm falling apart I can read this and remember that at some point I will feel good again. Or some of you can remind me...:-)