Day 17 - Continued Ups and Downs

Wow...it's weird to think it's been 17 days. Days don't seem the same as they used to.

Today was a tough day. I talked to dad this morning. Mom was sleeping. He said she got her medications all mixed up, so he's got them all organized for her now. He's working so hard. I wish I was closer and could just stop in every day. I hate that I can't.

Mom is exhausted. I'm worried. And today I spent some time doing cancer research which has become incredibly frustrating because mom has no actual diagnosis. I just feel like I need answers...and maybe there aren't any. And that's hard to take.

I'm feeling overwhelmed at times. Very overwhelmed at times. I had a meltdown today. And then a cleaning fit afterwards. It's the lack of control of all of this. It's the fear of the unknown. I know all of that. But it doesn't make it easier.

Another week starts tomorrow. It's supposed to be another beautiful day around here and I'm going to take the boys into town to get out of the house. We're possibly planning a trip up to see mom on Wednesday. I'm continuing to try and take it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others to do that. Today was one of the hard days.