Day 12: Relief

I'm home from the hospital. It's been a long day. But the mom I saw pre-port insertion was much different than the mom I saw post-port insertion and that was good!

I had just found my parents in the waiting area, when they called to have my mom go back for her admitting process in triage. They only allowed one person back so dad told me to go back with mom. It started kind of rough with the nurses not really listening, but once I kept repeating myself, they started to listen a little more and within a half hour, we had two nurses both devoted to getting answers and taking care of mom. It was a good reminder to me, as someone who spends time in hospitals with people, that although hospital protocol is normal for the staff, it is not at all normal to the patients. And everyone that works in a hospital in any setting needs to remember that and treat each patient with care and compassion. Because I was there to ask lots of questions, I think mom's nurses paid more attention. If she didn't have someone there, I think there would have been more of just the regular protocol and not a lot of answers from the staff. Honestly, I think there should be Surgical Doulas that are just there to support families through that experience! But I digress...

Mom was nervous when I was with her. She couldn't really answer all the questions the staff was asking of her. She had eaten an egg at 3am and it was now 10:30am and she was very worried about her blood sugar. One of her nurses took her blood sugar and it was fine which both confused mom and settled her down a bit. She was still upset that she couldn't eat, but the staff explained that she was going to have conscious sedation and that was why she couldn't eat.

Mom had to sign and initial a couple of forms. She could sign her name somewhat slowly, but she couldn't do the initials. She could get her first initial, but not her last. I explained this to the nurse and she looked a little confused. I went on to explain that mom has been losing her ability to type and write and the nurse said, "Don't even worry about the initials!" and then I think it really hit her that this was more than just a simple port insertion for mom. She became much more attentive after that.

At one point they asked mom if she had a living will to which she answered yes. So, the nurse said she just needed a basic answer as to whether or not mom would want resuscitation if necessary. This kind of threw her. I told her that her answer today might be different than the answer she would have given when she put together her living will. And then the other nurse looked at her and said, "You know, you're here to fight this cancer. If you didn't care, you'd be at the ballpark, eating a hot dog, living up your 3 months, but you're here to fight this, so I think you'd want them to resuscitate you." I wanted to hug that nurse! Mom understood it when put that way and said that, yes, she would want to be resuscitated.

Dad and I switched off when they went through mom's medication list. Dad brought a file folder full of information. He's completely organized and has everything all together. It was fantastic! That's my dad! :-) They got all of the information straightened out, called me back to give mom a kiss and she was off to her her port inserted.

Dad and I went to the cafeteria and had some food and coffee and chatted a bit. We then when back to the waiting area and sat and chatted some more. It was nice to just sit and talk with him. He told me a little of his experience last Thursday night when he had to call the medics for mom again. He was really scared. It broke my heart to hear it, but I was glad he was sharing it with me. This has all been really tough on dad too. I was glad I could give him just a little relief today.

After about an hour, I went back to see mom in post-op. She looked like a new woman. She said she felt great. Her blood pressure and pulse were very low, so her fantastic post-op nurse, Bunny, was loading her up with coffee and broth and juice and a turkey sandwich. Mom was in heaven. :-)

Her pulse leveled off and her blood pressure came up and before we knew it, Bunny was telling us that mom could get ready to go. Mom got dressed, we brought Dad back and Bunny gave us her discharge instructions. Dad left to go pull the car around and Bunny put my mom in a wheel chair and wheeled her out to meet my dad.

Mom seemed so relieved. As did dad. Mom's experience today was SO much better than 2 weeks ago. The staff was really wonderful with her. And the heated gowns??? Wow...those are so cool! Has anyone had or seen one of those? I gotta get some of those up at the birth centers! LOL!

One of the things that was stressed to my parents was that they do need to contact mom's doctor about the blood sugar issues, so I'm hoping dad will have done that this afternoon. Or at least tomorrow. They are both worried every night that mom is going to have another episode. She said she goes to bed every night just hoping she wakes up normal. That's not a good way to live.

So, this step is over. Chemo starts Friday. That "should be" less traumatic than we thought today was going to be. I'll be heading back up for that as well. Hopefully we'll have mom's MRI results (that part she DID NOT like this morning!) by then as well.

Gratefully, I don't have to work tonight. We had to postpone class so I'm able to just rest and enjoy my evening with my boys. :-)

I feel like I can breathe a little better today. The sun is shining right now and I'm feeling hopeful again.

I think we're all feeling a bit of relief tonight. One step at a time...that's all we all have to do and mom took several steps forward today! :-)

Thank you to all of you who have continued to let me know that we're in your thoughts and prayers. It means so very much to me!!!