One Month

It's been one month today.

In some ways I can't believe it's already been a month. In others it seems like forever ago that she died.

Dad saw her again the other night. In the middle of the night. Walking in their room. She is looking over him...taking care of him in some way. I know she is.

I miss her every day. I've come to terms that that will never change. And I don't want it to. I never want to stop missing her.

The boys and I drove to the cemetery today. I debated not going, because the weather sounded iffy. But I'm so glad I did. I received a phone call yesterday that her engraving was done. When I got off the phone a bubble of emotions came up and out of me and I cried for about 5 minutes. I felt like that was a sign that I truly needed to go today. I took some flowers with me and I'm so glad I made the trip. It certainly made things even more real to see her name in granite. But I loved the flowers once I placed them in there and it felt like I was taking care of her in a sense. I will do everything I can to get up there once a month to make sure there are fresh flowers.

I've survived one month. We've all survived one month without her. I still hate it. I still cry. I still worry about my dad. But we're all surviving. And missing her every day.