Dear Nurse Nancy,

Oh how I have needed you this past week.


Regardless of any differences we had...regardless of what kind of place we were at in our mother/daughter relationship...I could always call you when I was sick and you knew just what to say to make me feel loved and cared for. Only a mom can do that. And you had a special knack at it. I always figured it was the nurse in you. But it was the mom too. I understand that now. I'm the same way with my boys. I know how to give that extra special loving only a mom can give to sick kids. I hope my kids call me well into their adult lives when they need that mommy touch.

It's sad how, at 16, I thought I didn't need you anymore. Those teenage years are rough. I already see Jonathan starting to pull away. It's what kids are supposed to do. But it doesn't make sense that we don't truly understand how much we need our parents until we are grown ups ourselves. And then, you and I ran out of time.

I'm getting by, but it's times like this when your absence is palpable. My teeth work last week, then the boys got sick and then I got it. It was a nasty flu/cold...fevers, congestion, cough. We're all recovering, but it has been a long couple of weeks. And I really missed making my calls to Nurse Nancy. You could always make me feel better over the phone. Dad has been wonderful and has been worried about me. It has been sweet. But I'm sure that he too has wished he could hand the phone over to Nurse Nancy and let you handle it. :-)

It's hard to think that I'll never be able to call you again. It's moments like these when it hits me that it is FOREVER. This isn't going to change. You're not coming back. I will get many more colds, and I will never have you to call. And then I have to remind myself to take things one day at a time and not get wrapped up in the "Nevers" and "Forevers". I'll deal with each day as it comes. I don't have to deal with all of them today.

I really miss you though. I miss Nurse Nancy. I just simply miss my mom.

I feel your presence, but I wish I could hear your voice. I wish for a lot of things I know I'll never have again.

I wish I had appreciated all of this so much more when you were here. One of those life lessons that reminds us to live in today and love the ones we have now because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.

Thank you for all the Nurse Nancy moments you gave me over my 40 years. I sincerely appreciate every one and I probably didn't say thank you enough.

I managed to survive this illness without you. But the absence of your care and your concern and your love was real and visible and will be during every illness I have for the remainder of my life, I'm sure.

We had more than our share of moments together. We sometimes couldn't figure the other one out. But you loved me like only a mom can love a daughter. And I miss that so very much.

I miss you Nurse Nancy.

I love and miss you mom.